The donut phenomenon. (It happens every time!)

"GreenN_Gold" (GreenN_Gold) 12/03/2015 at 12:40 • Filed to: None

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So we have a morning birthday celebration for someone on staff. Everyone gathers in the break room to socialize/celebrate. There are 2 dozen donuts provided for a staff of about 20. Out of the entire group, around 3 people have a donut. Everyone else has an array of excuses. “I just ate.” “I’m on a diet.” “No thanks for me.” Wait! But then....the party is over, everyone returns to their desk, and the 20 or so remaining donuts are left out in the break room. Now, go visit the break room in hour or two, and BOOM, almost all the donuts are gone.

Why is everyone so shy or ashamed or whatever just to have the donut up front. Why do they wait and “hide eat” it an hour later?

(Follow up: There is under an hour left and 2.5 donuts remain at last check.)

Zip-McBump > GreenN_Gold 12/03/2015 at 12:48

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It’s just one more little passive-agressive thing people can do at the office to make themselves feel better than those filthy donut eaters.

That’s why I like where I work now: “my wife made a pan of brownies. Does anyone want....” (brownies are gone).

Apprapos of nothing, why the hell are there no Dunkin Donuts where I live?

Bytemite > GreenN_Gold 12/03/2015 at 12:49

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It really is strange how the older you get, the more you care about the image you project. It’s understandable though, middle-aged people can talk so much shit about anything and everything.

MonkeePuzzle > GreenN_Gold 12/03/2015 at 12:49

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or... the ones willing to eat a donut up front have returned!

(it was me!)

Ash78, voting early and often > GreenN_Gold 12/03/2015 at 12:50

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I’m like that, but my excuse is hopefully more practical — donuts give me serious indigestion since I don’t eat a lot of fried stuff. So I wait until after my lunchbreak workout and then I pound a couple after lunch with some other food :D

GreenN_Gold > Zip-McBump 12/03/2015 at 12:52

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Ours were just from the grocery store, but no complaints here. I haven’t been to a Dunkin in 20 years probably.

davedave1111 > GreenN_Gold 12/03/2015 at 12:53

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I suspect that partly it’s that people feel they shouldn’t eat a donut (because, e.g., diet), but want someone to argue them into it. When they see that they’re ‘leftovers’, they can kid themselves that they should have one because otherwise they’ll be wasted.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > MonkeePuzzle 12/03/2015 at 12:54

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TRUTH

Bryan doesn't drive a 1M > GreenN_Gold 12/03/2015 at 12:54

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What happens at my work is that everyone takes about 1/8th of a donut at a time, so we have a ton of donut pieces left over.

And just like you said, 3 minutes after the party’s over every last crumb has been eaten.

Donuts make you just as fat if nobody sees you eating them!

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > GreenN_Gold 12/03/2015 at 12:54

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Shame brings fewer choices when it’s a variety dozen. WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT TO LIVE WITH FEWER DONUT CHOICES?

CalzoneGolem > MonkeePuzzle 12/03/2015 at 12:54

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This is what I do. I eat one and then all these donuts are left alone so I gotta help out.

GreenN_Gold > MonkeePuzzle 12/03/2015 at 12:56

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Oh this happens too, definitely, because the donuts outnumber the people. They disappear throughout the day.

I like the people that cut them in half, but eventually all the halves disappear, so what’s the difference?

Zip-McBump > Bytemite 12/03/2015 at 12:57

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I think you’re right to a certain extent, but it’s a very personal thing. It’s funny when people transition from middle-age to old (and I’m not using those socially-accepted, lying to yourself definitions of age, either. People usually live from 70 to 90 years, so I’m middle aged, not that 55 year old guy with three ex-wives. He’s just old). Some people never give a shit, but some people just reach that point when they cross that boundary from middle age to old. And I’m OK with that.

Humanity just needs to learn to balance being OK with who you are with being a decent human being. If more people did that, we’d all be a lot better off.

vicali > CalzoneGolem 12/03/2015 at 12:57

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Don’t want them to get lonely.. plus someone has to clear the table..

Zip-McBump > GreenN_Gold 12/03/2015 at 12:59

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It doesn’t matter where you get them. Donuts are pretty hard to screw up. I was just lusting after that studio-quality picture you posted.

GreenN_Gold > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 12/03/2015 at 13:02

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Good point. Maybe that’s the reason I dive in early. I see the one *I* want, and I’ll be damned if Nina from Corporate accounts payable is gonna take it first.

CalzoneGolem > vicali 12/03/2015 at 13:03

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me irl

vicali > GreenN_Gold 12/03/2015 at 13:05

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I elbow right in there before the good ones are gone;

apple fritter = largest donut mass, chocolate with chocolate icing = fastest sugar rush, cruller = one in every crowd, powdered icing = cokehead, plain = get out, and take that garbage with you.

gin-san - shitpost specialist > GreenN_Gold 12/03/2015 at 13:08

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Not in my office - you bring donuts (especially from the local joint as opposed to the chain joints) they’re gone really quickly, with people coming by at the end of the day to see if any are leftover (and those go quickly, too).

If someone doesn't want one, I figure it's because they eat responsibly (which is fine) but I won't ask them again - it's really not my problem if they don't want one (if anything it's to my benefit since I will always consider having two).

Textured Soy Protein > GreenN_Gold 12/03/2015 at 13:08

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I have totally been one of the “no donut for me thanks!” people on many occasions, only to go back later for a donut. It’s not because I’m trying to project an image. Everyone already knows I eat right and work out all the time. It’s because I’m trying not to eat a donut, but donuts are really tempting.

So I try to skip out on the donut, and go back to my office and eat like a granola bar or something, but I just know that there are donuts back in the other room, and maybe I hold off on that granola bar because if I eat the granola bar and then give in to the donut temptation, it’ll be even worse for me than if I just at the donut, and then I can’t take it anymore and I go get a donut.

Well, some of the time. Sometimes I successfully avoid the siren call of the donuts.

Bytemite > GreenN_Gold 12/03/2015 at 13:10

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Did you really just take a picture of your coworker? This is hilarious.

marshknute > GreenN_Gold 12/03/2015 at 13:14

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Plot twist: only the original three people are eating the donuts. They’re just coming back for seconds, thirds, eighths!

Stapleface-Now Hyphenated! > GreenN_Gold 12/03/2015 at 13:14

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Whenever there are treats present, I’ll go after the first wave of folks. Usually that works and I have a good selection. Until you arrive too late and the only thing there is a fuckin blueberry donut. Who eats that shit? If it were up to me, every donut would be a filled donut.

CalzoneGolem > vicali 12/03/2015 at 13:15

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I’ll happily eat all the plains you pass up.

I miss these fuckers.

GreenN_Gold > Textured Soy Protein 12/03/2015 at 13:15

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I assume this describes some of the group.

GreenN_Gold > Bytemite 12/03/2015 at 13:17

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No, it’s from Office Space. I was just trying to come up with a fictitious “Linda from HR” or something, so I went with Nina from accounts payable.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > Bryan doesn't drive a 1M 12/03/2015 at 13:17

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I totally jumped my coworkers shit for taking a 1/4 of a doughnut. I discused it with the individual and they said someting to the affect of: “I don’t want to get fat so I will only take 1/4 of a doughnut at a time but by the end of the day I will have taken the equivalent of an entire doughnut.”

GreenN_Gold > marshknute 12/03/2015 at 13:20

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I’m sure some people return seconds (I know they do), but the people that are “passing” on donuts are eating donuts, too.

I’m located close the break room. I see things. But people can be remarkably stealthy. Ninja office workers.

Luc - The Acadian Oppo > MonkeePuzzle 12/03/2015 at 13:20

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I’m one of those people too.

Luc - The Acadian Oppo > GreenN_Gold 12/03/2015 at 13:25

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Same. I don’t give a fuck if you wanted that one or not. If you’re not quick you ain’t getting it.

I started training for this very scenario at a very young age.

Svart Smart, traded in his Smart > GreenN_Gold 12/03/2015 at 13:49

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I’m not shy about eating doughnuts in public, but I prefer to eat a doughnut sitting down, preferably with a plate and a sharp knife and a strong cup of coffee. Therefore, if I go to a meeting where there’s a box of doughnuts, I’m likely to wrap one up in a paper towel and leave it sitting in front of me. At the end of the meeting, I take the doughnut with me and save it for later, when I know I’ll enjoy it more.

GreenN_Gold > Svart Smart, traded in his Smart 12/03/2015 at 14:07

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Plates, knives, coffee, and seats were all on hand. It was the break room, after all. You will be watched however, lol.

spanfucker retire bitch > MonkeePuzzle 12/03/2015 at 14:08

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I’ll have one and be polite -make sure everyone else has their share. Then around lunchtime as I’m preparing my lunch; oh, what’s this? There’s still some left?

Well, don’t mind if I do.

spanfucker retire bitch > GreenN_Gold 12/03/2015 at 14:09

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I don’t want to live in a world where an Office Space reference isn’t understood immediately.

MonkeePuzzle > spanfucker retire bitch 12/03/2015 at 14:17

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and before you know it you’re a bakers dozen into it and wiping sprinkles off your face

RazoE > GreenN_Gold 12/03/2015 at 14:56

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Homer’s donut!

wiffleballtony > GreenN_Gold 12/03/2015 at 15:11

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I have no shame, I’ll eat three right there.

haveacarortwoorthree2 > GreenN_Gold 12/03/2015 at 15:52

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It might just be me. I’ll eat that donut during the meeting/celebration and then keep hitting the collection so long as donuts continue to be present. Do I want to go to lunch? No thanks, I’ve had 6 donuts this morning. Go to kitchen to get a drink — still donuts? Don’t mind if I do.

Viggen9er3 > GreenN_Gold 12/03/2015 at 16:27

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If those donuts were booze, everyone would have one.

Since those donuts are just donuts, 3 people eat most of them, and 3 people kid themselves. The rest will not eat it.

Svart Smart, traded in his Smart > GreenN_Gold 12/03/2015 at 19:21

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That sounds lovely. I’d have no problem taking one whole doughnut from the box and consuming it.